Every Week I Like To Put Up A Reader Question And Take A Stab At Answering It Heres A Scenario That All Too Many Parents Deal With: What Do You Do When You Catch Your Son Watching Porn
Heres an email I received:
This morning, I had to be out of the house for a little while and my 15 year old son babysat my 6 year old son. We let our 6-year-old get on the computer because he is a music FANATIC and spends hours on youtube watching videos, especially classic rock. Today my older son walked in and caught him looking at some ugly pictures. A quick look at the history reveals he had typed in sexy neckit girls in the search engine and I am DEVASTATED at what he saw. Images that I didnt even want to see, much less my SIX year old. I want to handle this correctlyI dont know what to do. I need to know WHY he even searched for that and I need to know how to punish him. It is making me feel like a miserable failure as a parent I cant stop crying. Of course I called my husband at work and Im going to wait until he gets home so we can both talk to him. Our older son asked our younger son why he was looking at that and he said my mind told me to and I cant control it Please, do you have any advice how to handle this??
Isnt that tough? So lets try to work this through.
Is Watching Anime A Sin
An anime stylized eye.
A teenager once asked, Is anime a sin? Cause Im trying to love God more. I know war is a sin, but what if youre going for the good guys. Or what if its just a regular anime?
Heres my point. Literally, watching anime is not a sin. Yeah, right. In fact, Ive written a book about it wherein I discussed the details more specifically. Watching anime is just like youre watching an indie film, or Discovery Channel, wherein you acquire some information and at the same time you are being entertained. If Im going to directly answer the question Is watching anime a sin? then the answer is no. However, there are many things to consider when it comes to anime. There are several but about this matter. In a more literal sense, anime itself is not a sin but the way you handle your emotion while watching anime is another thing. That is just one of the many cases. Because there are many.
People, especially teenagers, who are hooked up with Japanese animation consider this merely as a form of entertainment. I do not argue about that, anyway, since its the fact. However, everyone must consider that if watching anime replaces your responsibilities and quiet time with God, then you are totally guilty in the eyes of the LORD. Watching anime becomes a sin when you spend time on it more than you spend time with God. Uh-oh. I dont want to sound like a preacher here, but, I have to include a verse that supports my claim.
Porn Causes Us To Stop Appreciating People
In the fantasy world of porn, where everything is designed to perfection, sometimes we can forget to appreciate just what we have. With images instilled in our minds of perfect bodies, we can easily forget to appreciate our partner.
Not only that, but the addiction also means that youll be spending less time with your loved ones or family. Less time improving real connections, and more time sat in front of a screen up to no good.
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Its Important To Remember What You See In Porn Isnt Reality
Actors act and directors direct. They get together to make porn flicks for a targeted audience.
When youre watching a porn film, youre watching a work of fiction. Its no more spontaneous and natural than an action movie or a romantic comedy.
Not that theres anything wrong with fiction. Its fun! As long as you dont lose sight of this, you should be just fine.
But if you start comparing your own body, sexual performance, or ability to attract a sexual partner to the fictional standards of porn, you could be in for some issues with confidence and self-esteem.
While you might learn a thing or two from watching porn or reading a sexy book, it shouldnt be considered an alternative to sex education, which is an entirely different thing.
Remember, porn is pure fantasy.
It isnt created to teach anything about human relationships, sexual development, or sexual health, so it probably wont provide much in the way of enlightenment in those areas.
If you have questions about your sexual health, its best to speak with a doctor or other healthcare provider, such as a certified sex therapist.
It Can Lead To Sexual Dysfunction
Guys this is without a doubt the number #1 reason you should stop watching porn immediately. Its been shown to lead to less sex, and less satisfying sex, but also zero sex whatsoever.
The way porn affects your brain, and the images that youre accustomed to seeing, means that youll struggle when it comes to having sex with someone else.
You dont notice it happen, but your brain is gradually effected until its too late. If you stop watching, then eventually everything will go back to normal, and you wont have issues anymore!
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Meet Sexual Sin With Truth And Grace
If fornication is sin, why do Christians engage in it? Why is sexually immorality prevalent among the Body of Christ? And what’s the appropriate response?
Understanding the Culture
Everywhere we look we see the word SEX. Sexual immorality is not only blatant it is subtle too. Magazine articles, books, movies, and videogames are enticing us. Even provocative dressing in church can distract even the most consecrated minds.
With each generation we seem to have new ways to commit old sins. Now fornication is even portrayed in cartoons. This generation grapples with animated characters using perverse language and engaging in sexual immorality. Media is bold I must screen what I watch. Fornication is an expected problem among unsaved youth. It’s horrifying when it becomes an epidemic in the church.
Leading in youth ministry for several years, I discovered the greatest battle among the youth was fornication. Their questions and personal stories were unbelievable. Clearly, we had failed them. They hardly concerned themselves with soul-winning and maturing in their Christian faith. They engulfed themselves in how much sin they could get away with. Christian youth are not the only ones struggling. Christian single adults face maintaining sexual purity while risking not being chosen because they uphold biblical principles.
Scare Tactics and Manipulation Are Ineffective
Is It A Sin To Watch Porn
The simple answer is yes, watching porn is a sin. Heres why:
The Seventh of Gods 10 Commandments deals with sexual behavior: You shall not commit adultery . The underlying principle of the Seventh Commandment is the protection of the marriage unit and, thereby, the family. The only acceptable setting for the expression of sexual love is in the context of marriage between a husband and wife. According to the God who created sexuality, sexual intimacy before marriage or with anyone other than your marriage partner is a sin.
Merriam-Webster.com defines pornography as the depiction of erotic behavior intended to cause sexual excitement. Sometimes porn is explicit, highlighting every facet of the sexual act, and sometimes its soft porncommon in movies, where the sexual act is implied but not explicitly shown.
The simple answer is yes, pornography is a sin. But it can be helpful to understand why God calls it a sin.
Regardless of the kind of pornography, these depictions are a misuse of the sexual relationship God intended for a husband and wife. Rather than an act of married love, porn reduces sex to an act of lust.
Jesus Christ explained Gods perspective on sexual lust to His disciples: You have heard that it was said to those of old, You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart .
But why does God call it a sin?
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Your Wallet Might Start Emptying Itself
Most online porn nowadays is free, unless you truly are addicted and want to start watching all the premium productions. If thats the case, then your wallet is going to start looking a little thin.
They make it pretty easy for you to get hooked as well. Ads all over the place, free trials, you name it. Your wallet is a lot better off without porn in your life.
I Have Questions About Pictures Animation And Porn
i searched on the internet if drawing or sketching humans is allowed or not and well most of the sites said it is allowed as long as it does not lead to idol worship and sculpture making of things to worship but i needed to confirm, so is it allowed?
second thing i need to ask is that, if making drawings of humans is allowed than is it allowed to watch animated porn, cartoons or anime porn? i mean watching porn is not allowed because you are watching another human performing sexual activities but cartoons are not real humans, right?
another question is that well if anyone opens any porn website they ask if your age is above 18 years, i mean in islam is porn also allowed over 18 years or is it prohibited at all ages ?
i hope you answer my questions
from your muslim sister
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The Habit/addiction Can Get Worse
Addictions can always get worse. Eventually, they end up consuming more of your time and energy than they did at first. Itll also mean that every negative effect porn has on your brain will be increased as the addiction gets worse.
Your self-confidence, your level of appreciation for others, sexual dysfunction and so on, will all get worse as the addiction does. Stop watching porn now, and rid yourself of the addiction whilst its only mild.
How Pervasive Is Pornography Statistics Real The Effects Of Porn
As mentioned before, the ease at which the average person, including now our children, can access pornography at any moment is alarming. But how pervasive is pornography? Here are just three alarming statistics:
1. A study published in the Huffington Post revealed that porn websites receive more traffic than Netflix, Amazon, and Twitter combined!
2. In his 2019 article, The Prevalence of Porn, Dr. Robert Weiss learned that nearly 12% of all internet websites are pornographic with almost 25% of internet searches related to sex.
3. According to NBC News, pornography is has become a global, $97-100 billion industry, with $12-15 billion coming from the United States.
Recently, major porn websites such as Pornhub proudly noted an increase in site traffic and subscriptions at the onset of the coronavirus pandemic. And Pornhubs own Twitter account even began offering free porn subscriptions to residents in several European countries on lockdown.
Tragically, the porn industry is constantly finding new viewers in the youngest among us. Here are just 5 examples:
1. A study by the University of New Hampshire found that 93% of boys encounter some form of pornography before they turn 18.
2. Psychology Today estimates that most children are exposed to pornographic material by the time they are eight years old.
3. Statistics from the National Center on Sexual Exploitation say that 64% of young people, ages 13-24, search for pornography at least once a week.
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Lesbians Are America’s Top Choice When It Comes To Porn
The experts concluded that the study confirms the existence of recreational and compulsive profiles but also demonstrates the existence of an important subgroup of not particularly active, yet highly distressed consumers.
But while the majority who watch porn appear to be able to do so in a healthy manner, it can be a problem for some.
It is still not classified as a true addiction, but some researchers believe a person can become addicted to watching porn in the same way they can become addicted to drugs and alcohol.
Others argue that there is not enough evidence to support it being treated as an addiction.
So Your Kid Is Looking At Porn Now What
Posted on December 17, 2011 by Larry Magid in Child safety // 0 Comments
Lets be honest. Many children especially post-pubescent boys are interested in what we commonly call porn. You might not like the idea that some kids are looking at these images, but that doesnt change the fact that its a pretty common occurrence.
This column isnt about young children or children who accidentally come across unwanted sexual material. Those are different issues. The question I want to explore is how a parent should react if they discover their growing child typically 12 or older is deliberately looking at sexually explicit material on the Internet.
Nothing new or unusual
First, recognize that theres nothing new about teens looking at such material.
We didnt have the Internet when I was 14, but that didnt stop kids from getting their hands on copies of Playboy. Porn has been around for centuries and were far from the first generation of parents who have had to deal with it.
There are a number of reasons why kids look at pornography. For some, its to be cool. There are reported cases of relatively young children using porn to impress their friends, much as kids sometimes smoke to show their independence.
Sometimes its curiosity, but in many cases especially for males past puberty, its for stimulation at times when no one else is around.
Engage but dont overreact
Porn and sexuality
Role models
Putting it into context
When it could be more serious
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Get Filters On The Computer
Honestly, these really are a great deterrent. Yes, a determined, smart child may be able to find their way around them. But filters stop the chance that searches for Little Bo Peep will bring something icky. And they mean that if a child wants to see something, they have to be very determined. A momentary temptation wont be able to drag them in.
I really believe that every family should have filters. They cant stop everything, but think about it this way: 30 years ago if you wanted porn, you had to go to a store and buy it, and it was kept on the top magazine rack. Its not like you had a shelf full of Playboys in your house, in the living room, and you just said to your kids: I dont want you looking. But thats what were doing today if we dont have filters. Its like we have DVDs and magazines all over the house, and were telling kids, dont look. Putting a filter on is like putting those DVDs and magazines back on the top rack of the store, and out of easy access. Isnt that better?
Covenant Eyes is a great program that lets you restrict access to certain types of sites, and sends a report to the person of your choosing of what sites everybody has chosen to try to access. So it really does work as a great deterrent. And I think this is a service for our teens. Porn is very tempting. If you could partially remove that temptation, isnt that being kind? And Covenant Eyes is offering a month free to our readers .
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But What If I Honestly Do Not Have A Problem With Lust
Even immune systems break down if they’re not properly cared for. Though lust may not be a problem now, something as spiritually corrosive as lust will eventually seep into a person’s thinking if regularly exposed to pornography. If you are watching hentai, you might not even realize a change in your thought process is even happening. If left unchecked, lustful thinking can turn into action in the real world.
James 1:14-15 says, “But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.”
Lust is not exclusively sexual, but sexual lust has a habit of being much harder to get rid of than most. Why? Because it’s addictive and sets the captive on a path of self-destruction that will just grow in wickedness . And the deeper you get, the harder it is to get out.
What Anime Is Acceptable To Watch
That said, the next set questions Im often asked are along the following line: But where is the line? What media and anime can I watch? Certainly, I cant watch everything thats out therecan I?
Conservative Christian culture has the opposite problem of the non-Christian culture we too quickly want to draw a line and stick by it. PG-13 is okay, but not R violence is okay, as long as it isnt tortuous or overly graphic sex is okay, as long there isnt nudity. We build these rules that are based on cultural norms instead of upon Gods command to love him and others. Some of the reason for it, I believe, is our nature we dont handle freedom well. Some of it is perhaps laziness.
The truth is, everyones line is different. While theres ample room for discussion about things that are clearly over the line, the rest is determined on a lot of factors: our experiences, our background, our maturity, our temptations. What will drive one person to sin wont do the same for another. For instance, Code Geass, a relatively tame piece of media, inside of me, so I had to drop it another person might watch the same series and father incredible insights about faith. Neither of us is wrong we just have different tolerances.
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